JOKES

ok, guys...post ur jokes here...
I start...
President George W. Bush is hit by a strong case of constipation. He sends his Spanish secretary, who knows little English, to the local hospital. She tells the doctor, "Big President Bush, no shit." The doctor understands and gives him some medicine to take with him. The next day, the secretary comes back again and says, "Big President, no shit." The doctor gives him even stronger medicine. A few days later, the secretary comes yet again and says, "Big President, big no shit." The doctor gives him the strongest medicine he has. The next day, the secretary comes back to the doctor and says, "Ba-Boom! Big shit, no President."

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an
airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a
game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and
said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she
owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her
$50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly
accepted.


The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and
the nearest star?"


Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde
asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill
with 4 legs?"


Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up
everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous
air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and
frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00


The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the
lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"


Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

lol...nice 1...
talkng of blondes...
One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."

The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"
The blonde responded: "November?"

"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"
The blonde responded: "Paris?"
So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"
The blonde replied: "Two?"

“Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.

A Blonde Diary... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.


February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print
labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!


March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box
said "2-4 years!"


April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!


May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into
those little packets!!!


June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a
slope.


July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,
other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!


August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped,
because top was down.


September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???


October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.


November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour
per pound and I weigh 108!!!


December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven"
button on the phone!!!


What a year they have! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]